Killing Loneliness
by Sarabellum93
Summary: Axel is part of Organization 13, the worlds most notorious and lethal gang. He and Saix are set out on one mission: To eliminate the head of the opposing gang, Cloud Strife. The mission doesnt go as planned, but Axel found the next best thing: Cloud's little brother, Roxas. Saix wants to kill him, Axel wants to use him to kill loneliness. What does that even mean? Akuroku
1. Failed Mission

"You ready?" the redhead asked the blue haired man in a hushed tone. Saix nodded with a serious demeanor before Axel kicked in the door before them. With guns drawn facing opposite directions, the two men entered the living room.

"Come out come out wherever you are." Axel grinned as the silencer of his pistol guided him into a bedroom while Saix searched the kitchen. After the two checked every air duct and closet, they decided to cancel the mission and return to headquarters.

"What a waste of time." Saix concealed his weapon in the holster at the back of his pants.

"You're telling me." Axel sighed as they stepped into the elevator that took them to the parking structure below the fancy apartment complex.

"Xemnas will not be happy about this." Saix shook his head.

"He never is." Axel smirked, trying to stay positive with his jokes.

"Your sense of humor won't save us. We were supposed to kill Cloud Strife a week ago." Saix reminded his partner.

"Not our fault he found out about our plan to assassinate him. His apartment looked deserted; he probably ran a week ago." Axel shrugged.

"No, someone is living there." Saix said plainly.

"How do you know?" Axel asked as the elevator stopped in the garage.

"I saw a fresh carton of milk. It would have spoiled by now if he left a week ago, but its due date is still too far to suggest it was gotten that long ago."

"Hmmm, well if it's not Cloud, I wonder," Axel started but stopped when a blonde got out of a car, no more than fifty meters from where they stood.

The blonde young man saw the two figures and gulped, carrying grocery bags, hoping to walk past the suspicious looking men in crisp suits.

Saix followed the boy with his eyes and when the blonde walked past him, he saw what was in his bags: cereal boxes.

Without hesitation, Saix drew his weapon and aimed.

"No, wait!" Axel tried to stop Saix, but it was too late. A bullet flew through the air, hitting the blonde in the back.

"Ah!" The blonde fell on his face, panting, his body trembling.

"That's not him!" Axel slapped Saix's arm.

"Woops." The blue haired man said rather dryly.

"Cloud is nearly twice his height, with muscle." Axel groaned, walking up to the poor boy shaking on the cold concrete.

"He bought cereal, the perfect match for fresh milk. And his hair is the same golden color." Saix tilted his head as the boy whined.

"It's clearly not him."

"Guess we have to kill him. He already knows too much." Saix reloaded his weapon before pointing it at the back of the boy's head.

"No! No please, I promise, I won't say anything." The blonde begged for his life as water entered his eyes.

"Any last requests?" Saix asked formally.

"Saix, don't." Axel looked deeply into the blue eyes that were about to cry.

"Why not?" Saix asked, rather neutral about the situation.

"Cause," Axel squatted in front of the sniffling blonde.

"Cause why?" Saix wanted a real reason.

"Because I want him." Axel smiled before he lifted the boy into his arms.

"Agh," The blonde grunted in pain.

"Axel, you know better. No visitors."

"He's not a visitor." Axel ignored Saix as he adjusted the body in his grip.

"No guests." Saix started walking to their black car, parked in the corner.

"He's not a guest." Axel smiled down into the terrified face in his arms.

"No new members." Saix unlocked the vehicle.

"Would you give it a rest and open the door already?" Axel asked as he stood by the backseat.

"Whatever." Saix helped his partner as he climbed in the back, still cradling the quivering body.

"Shh," Axel cooed.

"It, it hurts." The victim's head ached as the pain started to get to him.

"You'll be fine. I didn't shoot to kill." Saix rolled his eyes as he sped away from the crime scene.

"You owe me your life." Axel said as he looked down into his lap.

"Th-thank you." The boy gulped, not sure if that was a good thing or not.

"You shall repay me by living with me." Axel said, looking out his tinted window.

"Xemnas won't allow it." Saix glared from the rear view mirror.

"Yes he will." Axel remained resolute.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, we just captured Cloud's little brother." Axel grinned into the blonde's eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note:** OMG ok so I really wanted to write a 'gang' related fanfiction for a while now, so here is my first attempt! This is going to have some "Yakuza" themes so it will be heavy, warning lol. So if you don't want to read a more 'dark' side to Axel, then this may not be the fic for you, but it's a very sweet story, trust me. It's filled with drama and some good yaoi, so please follow, I promise you won't regret it! I'm super excited for this story and for many others!

**Living Legacy, Sarabellum**


	2. Much Better

"No," the boy shook his head, realizing just how bad his luck had gotten. Bad enough he had been shot randomly while coming home from a late night grocery run, but now he was taken prisoner.

"Heh, by the time we're through with you, you're going to wish I would have shot to kill you." Saix chuckled from the front seat.

The prisoner remained quiet, his head and body going into shock as the car drove through a large black iron gate.

"Home sweet home." Axel opened his car door and dragged a limp body with him.

"Please," the weak boy tried to keep his feet awake as he struggled to keep up. "Let me go," he pleaded, his lower lip shaking.

"I can't do that. You've already seen and heard too much and no promise you make will ever be trust worthy, so death is your only other option." Axel explained.

"Then kill me. I won't betray my brother." The prisoner sniffled as Axel stopped walking.

"Your brother is about to start a war!" Saix snarled as he turned around.

"No, you are!" the boy yelled back before Saix backhanded his cheek. The blonde fell to the ground before Axel shook his head.

"Don't hit him; you already shot him and we just found him thirty minutes ago. God give the kid a break." Axel cradled the whimpering boy. "Come on, you're ok. Be a man." Axel said sternly before he entered the large mansion.

"You two are back early." A man with an eye patch walked into the corridor of the giant estate, pausing when he saw the prisoner in Axel's arms. "And you brought home a souvenir." He smiled with his one yellow eye.

"Where's Xemnas?" Saix asked curiously.

"Gone. Didn't say where. Must be big." Xigbar shrugged.

"Where's Vexen?" Axel asked next.

"In his lab, why? What could you possibly want with him?" Xigbar scratched his head.

"My pet was shot." Axel fixed the body that was slipping down his arms before he glared at Saix.

"I thought he was Cloud." Saix looked away in embarrassment.

"Hah! As if! This shrimp is like half his size." Xigbar laughed hysterically.

"Wait, so you guys failed your mission?" Demyx joined in on the conversation.

"It would appear so." Saix admitted with shame.

"Well I don't know why you're bothered; Xemnas will still love you. As for you," Demyx pointed to Axel. "You better practice kissing asses." Demyx winked before Axel chuckled along.

"I don't know, Saix wouldn't want Axel's lips going where his belongs: up Xemnas' ass!" Xigbar elbowed Demyx as he cracked up, causing the tall blonde musician to slap his own knee.

"Good one!"

Saix's eyes widened before he growled.

"Alright, alright," Axel shook his head. "You guys go fight over whatever, I need to find Vexen." Axel strode off with the timid boy.

"Wha-what are you going to do with me?" the boy asked cautiously.

"Right now, I'm going to get Vexen to heal you. After that, we'll see." Axel remained vague before he entered inside the laboratory.

"Fancy seeing you here, Axel. Oh and you brought a guest? That's not allowed," Vexen began his lecture.

"That's none of your concern. This is Cloud Strife's brother. Heal him. Treat him good. In due time, he'll help us." Axel dumped off Roxas' body and turned for the door.

"As you wish." Vexen snickered, eyeing the boy's body with lust.

The second Axel shut the door behind him, he heard a loud shriek.

"Axel!" the voice of the blonde boy rang through the walls, causing the redhead to open the door and stand in the entrance, seeing Vexen about to rape him.

Within a second of time, Axel drew his weapon from his side holster under his jacket.

"Don't. You. Dare." Axel charged his hand gun with a click.

"You said to treat him good." Vexen put his hands up in defense, his dick hanging outside his unzipped pants before the fully naked blonde.

"I said heal him. What kind of doctor are you if you're that stupid?" Axel took a step forward, his gun still pointed at Vexen's face.

"Alright, calm down, no need to be hasty. You know you aren't going to shoot one of your own. Not over this worthless toy."

"Just take the bullet out of his back." Axel relaxed his body as he returned his weapon to his side.

"As you wish." Vexen fixed his pants, took his tweezers, rolled the short haired blonde onto his stomach, and cleared his throat. "Don't move."

"Eh," the injured boy couldn't control the natural shaking that came with fear and pain.

"Luckily for you, the bullet isn't deep. This isn't a kill shot." Vexen observed the wound. "In fact, this isn't even a normal bullet." Vexen pulled the silver piece from the blonde's flesh.

"AH!" A loud groan escaped.

"It was a stun shot. We were supposed to kill Cloud, but he ran about a week ago. We thought if we found Cloud, we'd stun him, get information about his gang, and then kill him. We found the kid instead." Axel looked down on the operating table, eyeing its victim.

"Well, isn't that nice." Vexen patted the boy's ass.

"Hey!" Axel took another step closer to Vexen. "Hurry up and finish."

"Ok, sheesh; so angsty." Vexen shook his head before he bandaged the boy. "He needs rest. It may have been a stun bullet, but he's in some kind of emotional shock, and it's already affecting his body physically. His heartbeat and his blood pressure suggest that he's had as much as he can mentally handle. I recommend some good sleep and a nice meal before and after." Vexen gave his professional opinion.

"Great. Thanks Doc." Axel said sardonically before he lifted the naked body back into his arms.

"Visit again soon. And bring the lad with you when you do!" Vexen called out before the door shut.

Axel walked silently down several halls, lavishly decorated with expensive artwork, antique vases, and fresh flowers. All the while, the victimized boy stared up into his green eyes, trying to make sense of the most confusing hour of his life.

"Where are we," his shy voice began.

"Sh. Doesn't matter." Axel responded coldly.

"Why did you save me, just now?" He asked another question, assuming that Axel would respond just as harshly.

The redhead looked down into the confused blue orbs before he cleared his throat and looked up. "You called for me." He answered simply.

"I'm cold,"

"I know. Be a man." Axel walked into an elevator, showing just how gigantic the mansion must be. The two rode up in silence to the eighth floor.

The elevator opened in front of a single door with nowhere else to turn to expect back inside the elevator. Axel pressed a few buttons on the electronic keypad and when the door opened, he stepped through, closing it behind him with his foot before he marched past the small living room and kitchen combo. Once he made it into a decent sized bedroom, he roughly let the blonde fall out of his arms and onto the bed.

"Ow!" the hurt boy grimaced, rushing his hand to his back.

"You got a name?" Axel asked, hands on hips.

"Roxas," as he spoke, he massaged his arms.

"Roxas? Ok, that'll work." Axel shrugged and turned around for the bathroom. Roxas glanced around the room. Like hell would he allow himself to be taken prisoner all that easily. True he had hardly put up a fight, but that creepy doctor was right when he told Axel that shock was prohibiting him from thinking clearly. As Axel shut the bathroom door, Roxas sprang up off the bed, stole Axel's long jacket, and ran for the elevator. His clumsy feet mixed with his hazed mind caused him to trip several times along the way, but that didn't stop him as his fingers smashed the 'down' button on the elevator repeatedly.

"What the?" Axel's voice could be heard from his bedroom as Roxas rushed the button even more so as the elevator dinged. "Hey!" Axel stepped into his living room as Roxas took refuge into the elevator, hurrying the door closed as he pressed the Lobby's floor. Axel sprinted over but didn't make it in time as Roxas caught his breath, his heart beating sporadically as he realized just how serious the situation was.

When the elevator door opened to the lobby, Roxas looked freedom in the eye and made a run for it, not looking back as he made it to the giant front doors, struggling to unlock them before he finally made it outside. Without thinking twice about being naked underneath the jacket, he dashed to the gate, gripping the iron bars, looking up to see how high they reached, wondering if there was a way to climb. He didn't have time to consider his options as he heard voices behind him. Without further hesitation, Roxas used his young agile body to swiftly move up the bars without much leverage, and when he got to the top, he let himself fall to the other side, sprinting the second his feet touched the ground. It was then when he turned to see Axel staring at him, looking like he was ready to kill. Roxas gulped before he continued to run, not sure where he was going or how far he was from home, but he knew he could never return to Cloud's apartment.

Luckily Axel's jacket was long on the redhead, so it covered most of Roxas' upper thighs, but the embarrassment set in when, after forty minutes of pure running, Roxas found civilization. During his journey he realized that the mansion was located somewhere inside of a deep abandoned city, but when he saw an open convenience store, he thanked his lucky stars.

He ran in, one arm across his body to keep the jacket closed since the three buttons didn't cover enough, and with his other, he pleaded to the cashier.

"Please you have to help me!"

"Oh my god, are you ok?" a blonde girl spoke out in concern.

"I was kidnapped and I think I'm being chased after." Roxas knew it sounded ridiculous, but he needed the police urgently.

"Kidnapped, by who?" the blonde girl fixed her bangs to reveal her curious green eyes.

"I, I know it sounds crazy but," Roxas gulped, thankful that the store was empty besides the girl he was talking to. "I'm pretty sure they're a part of the yakuza." Roxas whispered.

"What? How do you know?" The girl's eyes went wide at such information.

"They were talking about a rival gang, and they lived in a giant rich mansion."

"What did they look like? Did they have tattoos and suits?" The girl asked.

"I don't remember tattoos but they were in suits and they had crazy hair, red and blue and silver and a creepy doctor tried to rape me." Roxas' body shivered as his eyes watered. He couldn't believe he shared such information with a random stranger, a girl even, but he was so broken by the worst day of his life, he didn't even care.

"Ok, hang on, I'll call for help." The girl stopped him as she picked up the phone and pressed a few buttons.

"Thank you." Roxas bowed in appreciation.

"Go pick out an ice cream, it's on me." She smiled so Roxas nodded as he walked to the back of the store, picked something strawberry, and returned to the counter just as the blonde girl hung up the phone. "They'll be here soon." She smiled.

"Thank you so much." Roxas shivered, still in a state of shock he couldn't really get past.

"Don't worry. What's your name?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm Roxas." He stuck out one hand as he continued to use the other to hide his skin behind the jacket.

"Nice to meet you Roxas. I'm Larxene." She gave a smile that caused Roxas to wonder if something was off about it.

"Umm, so, the police are on their way, right?" Roxas gulped, hoping to shake off the uneasiness inside of him.

"I called, they said they were close by." Larxene said without looking at the blonde boy.

"Good," Roxas whispered.

"Sweetie, go pick out a beer. You look like you could use a drink." She encouraged, so Roxas nodded, agreeing that he needed something to relax his mind. The blonde tread on cold bare feet to the back of the store, thinking about which type of beer would help him most. Just then, the doors to the convenience store opened with a chime of a bell, and when Roxas turned in hope of seeing the police, his eyes went wide with fear as he saw a redhead and blue haired man.

"Excuse me miss," Axel leaned on the counter with a wink to the blonde girl as Roxas stood paralyzed by fear, unable to move even as his life depended on it.

"He's right there," Larxene didn't look up from her magazine as she pointed to Roxas.

"N-no," Roxas whispered to himself as Axel walked up to him.

"You really are a lot of work, aren't you, you little bitch?" Axel cornered Roxas against the freezer doors that stored the drinks.

"No," Roxas shook his head as he panicked.

"You must have been so happy when you ran in here, thinking that Larxene would call the cops for you." Axel chuckled with his hands on his hips. "If only you knew, this is our convenience store. This is where Larxene picks up the scoop we need for our missions. Didn't you know? She's one of us. Oh man," Axel shook his head. "I may have to get Luxord to calculate the odds. I mean just think about the coincidence." Axel smiled quickly before he gave a serious demeanor. "You think you can run from us? You think you can hide? We own this city, this goddamn country." Axel reached for Roxas' body, but the blonde pushed him away.

Axel struggled with Roxas for a second before he punched the blonde square in the jaw. Roxas yelped as he rushed a hand to his bruised face.

"I believe this is mine." Axel ripped the jacket from Roxas' body, putting it on his own over his formal, crisp, clean suit. Roxas covered his parts with his hands, his eyes leaking from embarrassment and despair.

"Let's hurry." Saix walked up to Axel.

"Very well. Let's go." Axel ordered Roxas, who stood shaking and huddled in his same corner. Axel leaned forward and bent down to star Roxas in the eye. "I wasn't asking you."

"Please, leave me alone. I promise I won't tell." Roxas sniffled.

"You already proved yourself a liar, trying to phone the cops." Axel looked less than amused.

"Please let me go home!" Roxas begged, but Axel only rolled his eyes before threw Roxas' naked body over his shoulder. "No! Please, let me go! Help me! Somebody help me!" Roxas screamed as Axel took a few steps towards the door, by Larxene's counter.

"We can't take him if he's screaming." Saix complained.

"You're right." Axel dropped Roxas' body, letting it fall harshly onto the floor, causing Roxas to groan as he rolled on the tile, his body aching from the drop.

"I have some of that stuff in the back," Larxene walked around the counter and scurried to the back while Axel grabbed Roxas' hair.

"Ah!" The blonde winced.

"Here," Larxene opened a vile as she pressed it under Roxas' nose, forcing him to inhale a strange chemical.

"Mmm!" Roxas tried to hold his breath, but Axel socked him in the gut, leaving Roxas no choice but to gasp. The blonde chocked on the very air itself before he realized that the chemical was going to knock him out. "N-nooo," Roxas barely uttered as his head swayed. His lips felt stuck together while his eyes roamed everywhere before they shut on their own.

"Much better," he heard Axel's voice before everything went silent.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So here we see Roxas trying to escape and the poor thing only makes it worse for himself with Larxene's deception. Things are probably going to move fast and I hope to update as often as I can so please follow to get the notifications. Thank you to those who are already following and reviewing!

Also in a bad mood. Some idiot read my Soriku oneshot, **Apron Fun** which has the **following summary**:

_Riku comes home from work and finds Sora standing in nothing but an Apron. Naturally Riku see's it as part of kinky roleplaying, but is that the real reason Sora's nearly naked? Cute Soriku fluff, the final part to the stories: A Thorough Examination, Doctors Orders, and Assess my Ass (all related KH yaoi one shots featuring different couples: Zemyx, Akuroku, and now soriku)._

And then this user:** ChromeT227** comments the following:

_I don't really care about how good the writing is BUT CAN THE FEMALE AUTHORS OF FANFICTION WRITE ANYTHING M RATED THAT ISN'T SORAXRIKU OR SORAXROXAS BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY FANFIC WITH THOSE STUPID PAIRINGS! If I see one more fanfic with yaoi in it that involves SoraXRiku or SoraXRoxas, I will delete my account because there is no point in reading fanfiction if most fanfics are filled with yaoi shit._

I know I shouldn't let some troll bother me, but it's frustrating. I already marked his comment as spam because it's so immature but seriously, why would someone waste their time like that? He confessed he doesn't care about decent writing, but moreover he hates Yaoi, when my summary made it MORE than clear that it is a yaoi. I bet he didn't even read it, he just saw the pairing and copy/pasted that review. SO heads up if you write Soriku/soroku. Ugh, people, so frustrating some times.

To ultimatedarkness: Thank you for reviewing!

To SoraXRoxaslover15: I also cannot wait to see where this goes…I have a lot of writing to do haha.

To babychela45: lol Yes, of course I shall continue this story for it has only just begun. Love you too!

To Someone: Why thank you very much. I am a bit intimidated by the gang feel to this story but I hope I can do it justice while balancing the romance. It's easy to have a fully angry story or a cute love story, but balancing the two while making it seem realistic is something I've yet to accomplish.

To SoRikuR0x: Thanks! I'm glad to hear you like it so far. Lol yes you would think the difference between Roxas and Cloud are obvious, right?

To RoxasVentusHikari: Oh wow, I'm really excited for you to read this story then! I never read fanfiction so I don't know what's out there but I hope that this one suffices! Thanks for the review.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing.

**Living Legacy, Sarabellum**


	3. Help Me Kill Loneliness

"M?" Roxas heard buzzing as his eyes failed to open.

"Good morning." Axel's voice filled Roxas' ears as the blonde gasped, realizing that he was back in possession of his kidnappers.

"Where, where am I?" Roxas tried to open his eyes, but couldn't.

"Shh, no need to panic." Axel ran the back of his fingers down Roxas' bicep.

"I can't move." Roxas gulped, his heartbeat quickening.

"You are currently restrained." Axel explained.

"Why can't I open my eyes?" Roxas wanted answers.

"You've been drugged but it should wear off." The redhead said.

At that Roxas' eyelashes slowly parted.

"Please, let me go," Roxas gulped, his limbs still numb.

"I can't." Axel said strictly.

"Yes you can, please," Roxas tried to move his feeble arm.

"Maybe you don't realize the situation you're currently in, so I'll explain it, real slow." Axel said, a fire twinkling in his emerald eyes as he neared them to Roxas' watering oceanic orbs.

"You've been captured by the Yakuza's Organization department, the most secretive and elite people you will never understand. If you were to have gone to any other convenience store when you tried to run, you would have been given this false illusion of safety. But I can guarantee that within the hour, I would have been given the order to kill you. And of course I'd have to obey. There isn't a place you could go in this entire country where we can't find you. So I thought, I either have the option of bringing you back here and keeping you safe, or killing you within a days time, and I'm rather protective of my ammunition and would prefer not to waste it. You're welcome." Axel lit a fresh cigarette.

"I want to go home." Roxas sniffled as Axel rolled his eyes.

"Kid, didn't you hear me? You can't. There is no home. Get used to it so you can move on."

"Why, why do you care if I'm dead or not?" Roxas began to get angry.

"Do you really want to know?" Axel asked, tapping the expired ends off of his cigarette into the tray on his nightstand. The blonde couldn't nod, so he grunted in affirmation. "Because, I'm bored." Axel grinned before he forced his tongue down Roxas' throat.

"M!" Roxas murmured into the kiss. It tasted like the bitter ash of cigarette smoke as Roxas tried not to swallow it down. Axel chuckled in amusement before he pulled up.

"When I saw you as you got out of your car, I thought, 'what a neat little toy that'd be'; then when you got shot, I thought 'how unfortunate'. Then when I took a closer look, I realized you were related to Cloud."

"What gave it away?" Roxas took a deep breath, finally able to sit up at a slow rate.

"You have the same bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair. Truly you match the description of Cloud's little brother. Although I was told that Cloud's brother is only nineteen."

"Twenty." Roxas grunted.

"Wait, you're twenty?" Axel asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, I will be in a couple weeks." Roxas' exhausted body slumped against the headboard. "If I live that long," he ended with a whisper.

Axel chuckled lightly. "Silly, of course you will. I'll make sure of it." Axel kissed Roxas' lips softly.

"Why, why are you being nice?" Roxas gulped.

Once again, Axel smirked. "I guess you could say I'm bored. Don't try to be smart about it; I am a Yakuza, and I'd kill you before I'd let you embarrass or harm me."

"I, I'm done fighting." Roxas said weakly.

"Good boy." Axel let his tongue trace over Roxas' lips. "Now, go to bed. Your body won't be happy with you if you don't get some sleep with that chemical that we used to get you to shut up."

"To save my life, right?" Roxas asked sarcastically.

"You're trying to be a smart ass but it won't work if your sarcasm is appropriate in the literal form." Axel stood up from his bed.

"I'm tired." Roxas grumbled, wanting to rub his eyes were his hands not restrained.

"Bed now. When you wake up, you will learn the rules of your new life." Axel took one of Roxas' wrists out of the rope he had used to keep him still and placed it into a handcuff.

"What?" Roxas asked when he saw that his hand was trapped to a chain attached to the wall.

"Bed." Axel repeated.

Roxas didn't have the energy to nod, so he did as Axel said and his wear body demanded and fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning the blonde awoke to the feeling of Axel untying his wrist and pulling him to sit up.

"Morning sunshine." Axel said dryly as Roxas blinked heavy eyes.

"What-what's going to happen to me?" Roxas couldn't help but ask.

"Don't bother to ask such questions." Axel didn't even scoff as he yanked Roxas to his feet.

"Where are you taking me?" Roxas gulped uneasily.

"You will meet my boss. He'll decide what will be done with you." Axel said as he gripped Roxas' wrist and dragged the boys naked body out of his suite, into the elevator, and was able to take advantage of the drugs still inside of Roxas' body to get him across the main hall.

"Is that the lad?" A tall member with short reddish brown hair asked.

"Lexaeus, meet Roxas." Axel said as he let go of Roxas' wrist and threw the still drugged up boy on the ground.

"What importance is he to us?" Xaldin asked with folded arms.

"Wait till the Superior gets here; all will be explained." Axel grinned confidently.

"You better hope he isn't just a waste of time." Saix rolled his eyes, not amused.

"Well I was going to spend the day sleeping so I guess it can't be much different." Axel joked as Saix growled.

"Xemnas has more important things to do."

"Weren't you the one who shot him?" Zexion asked as Roxas gulped, still on the floor and trying to look at the members who all stared down at him.

"Well, I see most of you are all here." A silver haired man with broad shoulders walked into the white room where Roxas sat covering his parts and the many members were standing.

"Superior," Saix bowed his head respectfully.

"So, this is him? This is the younger brother of Cloud Strife?" Xemnas stood over Roxas, whose body was still too weak to defend itself.

"Yes sir." Axel nodded.

"Tell me, boy," Xemnas squatted by Roxas' face, as if to mock how helpless the blonde was. "What information do you have to offer in exchange for your life?" Xemnas asked as Roxas bit his lip.

"He's useless." Saix shook his head.

"Let me warn you now that we will find Cloud, and when we do, we will kill him. So, do yourself a favor and ease our search. In a fair exchange you can keep your life. If you have nothing to share, you will lose your life, but only after I show you Cloud's rotting corpse." Xemnas smiled calmly as Roxas began to pant in fear. "So, you really understand your predicament? Come now, give us a location; a name; something to bargain your life for." Xemnas said as Roxas opened his lips yet made no sound.

"He's too frightened to be of any help." Saix said in boredom.

"Will you offer any information about your brother to save your life?" Xemnas put his face right in front of Roxas' to ask.

"N-no. I, I won't be-betray him!" Roxas yelled shakily.

"Very well. You will die in vain, as will he." Xemnas stood up straight.

"No," Roxas whispered.

"Axel, lock this prisoner in the dungeon and be sure that he rots there, barely alive until his brother is proven dead. Then," Xemnas looked into Roxas' eyes and smiled. "Shoot him in every limb."

"No!" Roxas shook his head before Axel once again gripped the blonde's arm and began to pull his body in his desired direction.

After thirteen days of being left to starve and thirst, urinating on himself with no other choice as he was chained to the dungeon wall, Roxas was both relieved and frightened when he saw Axel open his tiny cell. Usually he received a bowl of water that was held up to his mouth every day once a day, which he was sure to empty each time by whichever member had the time and wasn't disgusted by the inhumane conditions.

"Oh, so you are alive." Axel put his hands on his hips. "Ugh, you smell." Axel held a hand up to guard his nose as he walked closer to Roxas and unchained his hands. "Come on, you're coming with me. First a shower, then some food." Axel snapped, but Roxas could barely lift his head to glance Axel across the eyes.

"Let's go." Axel snatched Roxas' wrists and literally dragged the boy's body across the dungeon floor and all the way back into his suite.

Roxas let Axel manipulate his body since he had neither the strength nor the will to do so himself. He let Axel bathe him as thoroughly as ever, drag him to the kitchen, and onto a chair where Axel tried to force feed the blonde.

"Eat." Axel ordered, but despite how hungry Roxas was, the idea of food sickened him.

"Eh," Roxas huffed, his mind and body frail. He hadn't uttered a sound other than the natural moans and groans that escaped his dry lips.

"Here, start with water." Axel set the bread down and grabbed a glass of water. He held it carefully, watching how Roxas' fingertips weakly clung to the glass, as if he were afraid of the redhead yanking the cup away and denying him the satisfaction of quenching his thirst.

"Shhh, it's ok," Axel cooed comfortingly. "There's more." Axel said, feeling like he were talking to a stray kitten and not a human. Roxas burped after he had chugged two full glasses of water and Axel managed to fit small bites of bread into Roxas' mouth, which Roxas swallowed reluctantly, knowing he needed it but hated the knot in his stomach that the food appeared to cause. After two slices of bread and another glass of water, Roxas felt his body shutting down, needing proper sleep more than ever.

"Get in bed." Axel ordered, but Roxas didn't move. "That wasn't a question." Axel stood up as Roxas' body leaned to the left in the dining chair. "Let's go." Axel snapped his fingers impatiently.

Roxas' arms shook as he placed his palms flat on the table, trying to push himself up on his feet. He legs wobbled as he took the first few steps on his own. Axel watched in an entertained pity for another step before Roxas' legs gave out and the blonde face planted on the floor.

"Alright, this is taking too long." Axel sighed before he picked Roxas up and carried the blonde boy to his room.

Roxas gulped as he lay powerless on the bed, not sure what to expect or what he could possibly do in such a situation.

"So, tell me," Axel sat down next to Roxas' lying body as casual as ever. "Where's Cloud?"

Roxas swallowed hard, wondering if it was a joke or game of some sort. They had already starved him and left him to rot in a dungeon cell, so the worst had to be behind him, right?

"You don't want to talk?" Axel asked as he lit a cigar, inhaled, and blew out. "No?" Axel asked as Roxas thought about what to do in such a situation. "Well, I can always put you back in the dungeon. The others were just going to stop giving you water till you died of thirst but I tried to tell them you'd help us somehow to earn your life back." Axel shrugged as Roxas became desperate.

"So, you want to tell me where he is so I can help you stay alive?" Axel made a tempting offer, but Roxas answered honestly when he sat up and said,

"I don't know." His voice was weak but sure.

"You don't know?" Axel echoed. "How do you not know? You're his brother." Axel said in frustration.

"Cloud, Cloud said," Roxas regained his energy as best he could. "He said if I didn't know anything, no one would hurt me. He tried to protect me, from you." Roxas could feel sorrow entering deep within his heart.

"Aww, well looks like big brother failed you huh?" Axel mocked as Roxas hiccupped a tear. "Tell me where he is," Axel whispered.

"I don't know!" Roxas yelled.

"Then why were you at his house?!" Axel stood up impatiently.

"He said he needed me to watch his fish and plants. Said I had to house sit, no questions asked. I didn't know this was going to happen." Roxas cried. "I didn't know anything." Roxas held himself. "I never knew anything." He mourned the loss of his freedom and true self before Axel sighed loudly and stormed out of the room.

Roxas remained in bed all alone for a few hours before the door slowly pushed open, causing the blonde to look towards the movement to try to see what caused it.

"Hello?" he asked shakily when a minute passed without an answer.

"Meow." A small black cat jumped up on the bed.

"A cat?" Roxas asked in bewilderment. He held his hand out cautiously before the young cat happily walked up to the hand and allowed himself to be petted. "There there," Roxas comforted the cat, as if it were himself. "Ne-neko, neko chan." Roxas read the collar which had the words 'neko-chan' inscribed above the number eight. "How'd a cute cat like you land up here?" Roxas asked. "Guess we're both prisoners." He sighed before the cat began to purr.

"I see you met Neko-chan." Axel walked in next as Roxas gulped.

"He's yours?" Roxas asked.

"The eight on his collar stands for the eighth floor, this floor, my suite. Yes, he's mine." Axel answered.

"He, he's cute." Roxas wanted to keep Axel from hating him any more as he paused his hand.

"He better be for the collar I bought him." Axel huffed and when Roxas looked again, he realized that the silver collar had to be made of true silver and the green gems he assumed were emeralds.

"Is, is it real?" Roxas asked shyly.

"Yep. And here's yours." Axel held out a box.

"I, I'm not a cat." Roxas gulped.

"You think I'm stupid?!" Axel stood up tall.

"No!" Roxas cowered.

"Then put it on!" Axel barked.

"Yes," Roxas sniffled.

"Yes Master!" Axel yelled.

"Yes Master!" Roxas sobbed, crying at the humiliation and the reality of his imprisonment. He fastened the gold collar with the blue gems incrusted around his neck.

"Better." Axel huffed.

"Why?" Roxas asked, his voice weak as he sniffled.

"Why what?" Axel asked with a curious interest.

"Why do you want me?" Roxas couldn't help but wonder, his ideas changing when Axel chuckled loudly.

"Please, don't flatter yourself. I don't want you." Axel shook his head with a smile.

"Then why am I here? Why won't you let me go?" Roxas begged in futile.

"You see, Roxas, I don't want you, don't love you, don't need you. I am simply using you." Axel shrugged as if the answer were ever so simple.

"U-using?" Roxas looked down to his naked body, hurt crushing his heart.

"I'm simply killing loneliness with you."

"Killing, killing loneliness?" Roxas didn't understand.

"It's like killing time. In this line of work, I get paid for a job that only takes a few hours the same amount that people slave over their mundane jobs for years. I have more money and time than I could need. Together, they produce loneliness. In a way, you help me kill the time that passes between missions, and at night, you help me kill loneliness." Axel explained.

* * *

**Author's Nose:** Another chapter down with a few more answers out of the way. So it's clear that Axel isn't completely heartless cause he hasn't killed Roxas (yet) but he's still openly admitting to using the blonde for his own personal gain. I don't have time for reader responses but I've read them all and thank you to everyone who left a comment! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. **In 5 days** (Zemyx day, September 6th) I'll be posting the first chapter to **Get Addicted** (**sequel to A Taste of Loneliness**). So, if you're looking for an Akuroku and/or a Zemyx with Cloud X Leon then check out A Taste of Loneliness cause the sequel will be out soon! Thanks for your patience.

Living Legacy, Sarabellum


	4. Crazy Nightmare

The next morning Roxas woke up to the smell of a burning cigarette.

"You're awake? Finally." Axel crushed the last of his dying tobacco.

"What time is it?" Roxas rubbed his eyes.

"Five in the morning." Axel opened a fresh cigarette pack.

"Ugh," Roxas groaned before he rolled over onto his stomach.

"Hey, get up." Axel slapped Roxas on the ass.

"Ow!" Roxas rolled onto his side, a hand over his butt to protect his stinging backside.

"Kiss me." Axel blew out smoke. Roxas gulped, knowing that he could very well say no, but it wouldn't stop the redhead from getting what he wanted.

"I," Roxas winced as he held his ass tighter in fear.

"Do I need to hit you again?" Axel sat up fully.

"No." Roxas shook his head.

"Good, now get over here and kiss me." Axel snapped his fingers as Roxas sighed. He let Axel's lips meet his, not at all happy about the powerful ash taste, but surprised at the softness. "Mmm," Axel grinned, his lips puckering one last time. He nudged his pink against Roxas', cupping the blonde's face gently before making out with him.

"Emph!" Roxas moaned when Axel's kiss became more aggressive.

"Shut up!" Axel hissed before he pinned Roxas down and invaded his mouth. Roxas squirmed, trying to reject Axel's tobacco taste from going down his throat.

"Ahem!" Roxas coughed once he caught a break of air.

"Stay still." Axel instructed as he held Roxas' chest down with one hand and used the other to snake his way down to his hips.

"What are you doing?" Roxas gulped as he asked.

"I'm just going to touch." Axel cooed as his fingers wrapped around Roxas' dick.

"Ah!" Roxas gasped.

"Shh, nice and easy." Axel smiled as he moved his hand up and down the shaft.

"Please don't," Roxas begged.

"Just a touch." Axel repeated, his palm squeezing Roxas' erection.

"Agh!" Roxas couldn't help but arch his back, pushing his pelvis up towards Axel.

"Are you gay?" Axel asked as he pulled Roxas' skin down his tip.

"No!" Roxas shouted, but the pleasure his body was enjoying was hard to deny.

"Really? Your hard on suggests other wise."Axel chuckled.

"Stop already!" Roxas curled his toe nails in denial.

"You have a boyfriend?"

"No," Roxas shook his head.

"Is he as small and cute as you?" Axel winked as Roxas gasped.

"Enough!" Roxas refused to come for the redhead.

"I bet he fucks you, since your dick is so tiny." Axel snickered as Roxas whimpered, offended but knowing that Axel's attack was more mental than literal due to Roxas' decent size.

"It's, not, not tiny." Roxas pulled on his cuffs which held his hands above his head.

"Oh yeah it is. I can't even give you a hand job; I'm giving you a finger job." Axel teased.

"Jealous prick." Roxas scoffed.

"What? You think I'm smaller?" Axel chuckled.

"Yeah," Roxas gasped as Axel sped up his hand movements.

"Yeah?" Axel mocked with a baby voice. "Don't make me prove you wrong." Axel smirked.

"Stop." Roxas said forcefully but Axel ignored him.

"You have a girl?" Axel asked more seriously.

"Yeah," Roxas repeated.

"What's her name?" Axel asked.

"N-na-not going to tell you." Roxas huffed.

"I understand, I am in a gang after all. Doesn't matter, I can't jack off to some bitch's name anyway. What's her hair color?" Axel continued to pump Roxas steadily.

"Blonde," Roxas answered honestly, thankful that blonde was a very popular hair color.

"Blonde? Sexy. Now what about her eyes? Blue?"

"Mhm," Roxas nodded.

"Big breasts?" Axel fantasized.

"Good size." Roxas bit his lip as he neared his end.

"Is that like a C cup?" Axel shrugged.

"About," Roxas closed his eyes.

"Good going Roxas. I'd love to fuck her right now. I almost got desperate the other week and started talking to Larxene. Thankfully you came just in time. Speaking of coming, you're ready to come, aren't you?" Axel smiled.

"Yes," Roxas murmured.

"Beg. Beg for me to let you finish." Axel smirked.

"No," Roxas refused the idea.

"That wasn't a question." Axel said forcefully.

"Please?" Roxas caved, knowing well enough that Axel wouldn't have it any other way.

"You're going to have to try harder than that." Axel shook his head.

"Please let me come?" Roxas rushed the words out.

"Address me properly." Axel said. "I am your master."

"Please master!" Roxas shouted.

"Please what? Please give you a harsh spanking?" Axel teased.

"Please let me come master?!" Roxas screamed.

"Good boy." Axel said as he watched Roxas release.

"You dirty bastard!" Roxas huffed.

"I'd shut up and be grateful that I didn't rape you." Axel scoffed before he left his room, shut the door, and didn't return until late that night. Roxas was stuck in the handcuffs all the while, so by the time Axel came back, the need to urinate and eat were intense.

"I need to go," Roxas uttered quickly when Axel returned.

"You aren't leaving this place kid," Axel began.

"I need to piss!" Roxas yelled in a hurry.

"Oh, yeah I forgot about that stuff." Axel chuckled as if it were comical to him while Roxas did his best to hold it in, knowing that if he made a mess, Axel would surely punish him.

After Roxas relieved himself, Axel gave him some leftover food and water before chaining him back to the wall.

"Now what?" Roxas was almost scared to ask, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm going upstairs to play video games with Demyx. Later." Axel turned off the lights and left as Roxas sighed and tried to get sleep as he slouched on the bedroom floor.

"He's in here?" Roxas heard a voice ask as his eyes slowly blinked opened.

"Yep." Axel responded.

"Dude that's pretty heartless, leaving him all tied up and alone like an animal." Demyx said with his hands on his hips as Roxas gulped and watched the two men stare at him.

"Nonsense; I'd never chain Neko-chan up." Axel folded his harms in front of his chest.

"Dude, so mean!" Demyx pouted as Roxas frowned.

"He's got to get used to it." Axel said as he stared down at Roxas who remained sitting on the floor.

"If you're going to keep him here forever, might as well try to make him feel a bit welcomed. Forever is a long time for him to hate you considering he probably already does." Demyx shrugged.

"How can he hate me when I'm the reason why he's still alive? If it weren't for me he'd be dead or still in that prison rotting." Axel put his hands on his hips. "He should love me and be grateful." Axel looked deep into Roxas' doubting eyes.

"I don't know, you better start showing your human side if you want him to even tolerate you." Demyx argued.

"What human side?" Axel scoffed.

"Yeah, good point." Demyx chuckled along.

"Anyway, I have them over here." Axel waved Demyx over towards his nightstand before he took out a small stack of records.

"Sweet! I love this band." Demyx smiled as he looked them over. "I'm going to play them at the event I'm DJing at this Friday."

"I never even bothered to listen to them." Axel shrugged before he took out two matching pistols.

"How are the twins?" Demyx asked with a smirk.

"I have to feed them." Axel smiled back as he removed the magazines, took out a box of ammunition, and reloaded his guns.

"I swear those guns and your damn cat are the only company you know." Demyx shook his head.

"Besides the other eleven." Axel added.

"Not like you ever really hang out with us."

"Well I have to take care of the cat." Axel failed to think of a better excuse.

"Yeah and who's taking care of the cat when you're out on extended missions? Me!" Demyx pointed to himself.

"Oh please, you love him." Axel shook his head.

"He's fluffy and cute." Demyx shrugged.

"It's why I kept him when we found Tseng's otherwise empty apartment." Axel smiled.

"I can't blame you there. And look, now you have another pet from Cloud's empty apartment." Demyx smiled at Roxas, admiring the shiny collar around his neck.

"If only he were as obedient as Neko-chan." Axel chuckled before Demyx laughed along.

"Alright well I have to get back to Zexion. Will you need me to watch the cat and the boy while you're gone this time?" Demyx asked Axel.

"Nah, I'll unchain the boy while I'm gone but I'm putting my suite on lockdown, so nothing is to go in or out of this apartment, you hear?" Axel pointed a stiff finger to Demyx before he turned to Roxas. "Cause whatever does will be brutally raped, tortured, and killed." Axel's eyes didn't twitch as he put his nose up to Roxas'.

"I'm sure he won't leave. I'll put a camera outside your front door with a motion sensor so if anything opens that door for any reason, I'll know." Demyx said.

"Yeah? And then what will you do? Put your playlist on shuffle?" Axel guessed with a laugh.

"No, I'll call Xiggy and make him do something." Demyx put a finger to his chin.

"Oooh, well I do like how Xigbar thinks." Axel grinned.

"He can be kind of a creep but hey if he likes me I might as well use him." Demyx shrugged.

"Now I'm liking the way you think." Axel smirked.

"Don't make Zexy jealous, you know he's got access to lethal chemicals." Demyx joked with sincere words.

"Yeah? You say that like my twins are toys." Axel flashed his guns hanging on his ribs from the holster around his shoulders.

"You have a point." Demyx agreed.

"Alright well go have fun with Zexion, and tell Xigbar to be ready in case there are any problems here while I'm gone."

"Don't worry, I will. I'll install the cameras right after you leave. Later!" Demyx waved to Axel. "Bye Roxas!" Demyx waved to the blonde boy who sat patiently.

"Where, where are you going?" Roxas had to ask.

"On a mission." Axel said briefly.

"When will you be back?" Roxas asked.

"When I return." Axel stated.

"And you'll unchain me?" Roxas squirmed lightly.

"If I don't, I'll come back with your piss and shit all over my carpet so, yeah." Axel said as he untied Roxas' hands. "Now, see your collar?" Axel stroked the sapphires with a slim finger. "It serves as a tracking device. The only way to remove the collar without breaking the chain is to enter my pin on my cellphone, which I have on me at all times. If you break the chain or handle it too roughly, it will self-destruct. So, if you try to cut it, rip it, or override it, it will explode on your pretty little neck." Axel smiled as Roxas swallowed deep.

"I understand." Roxas said quietly as Axel tied Roxas' hands behind his back.

"Shower, then bed." Axel said before he bathed Roxas and brushed the boys teeth.

"I, I won't fight you." Roxas said as Axel dried off his body.

"Good boy. Come to bed with me." Axel lay his body down and invited Roxas next to him. The blonde put his body next to the redhead and awaited further instruction. "So smooth," Axel ran his fingers up and down Roxas' side as the boy shivered. "Kiss me." Axel whispered as Roxas gulped, thankful that the redhead hadn't smoked after brushing his teeth, but still a bit hesitant.

The blonde puckered his lips cheaply before he pushed them closer to Axel's, and when Axel went the rest of the way, the two began to make out. Axel guided Roxas steadily before the blonde began to relax, chasing Axel's mint flavored muscle with an anxiousness he tried to ignore.

"One more," Axel said after the two broke for air. Roxas swallowed down his fears before he once again kissed Axel with his hands still fastened behind his back.

"Beautiful." Axel smiled before he exhaled and rolled his body from his side onto his back.

"Axel," Roxas coughed uneasily.

"Hm?" Axel asked as Roxas used his abs to sit up.

"I'm cold." The blonde confessed.

"I'll keep you warm." Axel lowered the boy onto his chest and held him, his hands massaging up and down the blonde's back.

"Ah," Roxas gasped when Axel pinched his ass in his palms.

"Shh," Axel cooed as his hands become more rough.

"Mph," Roxas' body twitched as he tried to deny such pleasure.

"Good boy," Axel whispered as he dipped his stiff fingers down Roxas' crack.

"No!" Roxas shouted as he pulled his body away from Axel's, getting off of the bed and standing shakily on his feet. Axel sat up and sighed before he motioned Roxas over to him.

"Get over here."

"Please," Roxas begged, "Don't." Roxas shook his head.

"Don't what?" Axel asked back.

"Don't rape me?" Roxas whispered in fear.

"I was merely going to massage you. If you prefer to be over there, then stay." Axel stood up and moved over to Roxas, who tried to run but all in vain as the redhead yanked the boys arm and tied him back to the wall. "Sleep tight." Axel gave a cruel smile before he climbed back into his warm bed, leaving Roxas to sleep alone and naked on the floor.

After an hour of silence, Roxas began to sniffle audibly enough for Axel to sigh and sit up.

"What is it you're crying about now?" Axel groaned.

"I want my brother," Roxas bit his lip.

"He's dead. And if you don't shut up you will be too." Axel glared coldly.

"Please," Roxas sniffled.

"What?" Axel asked confused.

"Kill me?" Roxas blinked out a tear.

"Look kid despite what you think, you're life isn't that bad. You're not being tortured, as long as you listen. I haven't raped you despite how easy it would be, and you're not sleeping outside or in the dungeon. So stop crying and start being grateful." Axel grunted.

"I, I'm still cold." Roxas whispered before Axel sighed loudly in annoyance.

"If I let you back in bed will you promise to shut the fuck up?" Axel asked with a look of disdain in his eyes.

"Yes." Roxas nodded obediently.

"Ok." Axel sighed once again before he untied Roxas from the wall, still keeping his hands behind his back. The two went back in bed, and to Axel's surprise, Roxas cuddled right up to his bare chest.

"Goodnight." Roxas closed his eyes and tried to sniffle his tears back down his throat. Axel looked as best he could in the dark to admire the cute attempt at bravery before he smiled.

"Goodnight." Axel said before he gently wrapped his arms around Roxas. The second he did, Roxas curled even closer to the redheads body, where the two fell asleep comfortably.

When Roxas woke up next, he noticed he was all alone, his arms completely free and unrestrained, and his body well rested. He didn't know what time Axel would be back at, but he estimated at least one day without any disturbance. He smiled to himself, ready and excited to enjoy his break from the crazy nightmare.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ok so here passes another day in captivity for Roxas but now he has a break free from Axel! We learned more about Axel and Demyx a bit but there are still so many questions. I hope you continue to read this story!Also i dont have the time or energy to edit this so I apologize for grammar/spelling inaccuracies. Thanks for the support and reviews.

**Living Legacy, Sarabellum**


	5. Die Wondering Why

Axel had been gone for about eight days when Roxas began to wonder if he would even bother returning. What a silly question, of course the redhead would return! His apartment had everything anyone could ever want, minus freedom and company, but the cat sufficed well enough. Roxas grew tired of playing the same video games over and over, and despite the large collection available, he decided it would be better to just rest since his body was still so broken and his mind so exhausted. He had pigged out on as much food as he could stuff himself with, but it wasn't enough. He wanted freedom. He wanted to go home. Home. He knew it didn't exist anymore, but he couldn't help but wish.

"Well, now what?" he asked Neko-chan before he sighed. The cat licked one of its front paws before cleaning behind its black ear. "I'm bored!" Roxas kicked his legs on the couch like an impatient child. He had the ability to do whatever he wanted in the apartment, but no shot at freedom. It was torture, having so many rights, yet, at the same time, having none at all. Roxas made sure to feed the cat, who already knew where his food was stored, and the blonde even cleaned up after him too in an attempt to stay on Axel's good side.

"This has got to be pathetic." Roxas shook his head at himself as he played a racing game and decided to play by obeying all the normal driving laws just to shake things up. When he moved to the shooting games, he knew he had reached a new 'low' when began looking for obscure ways to kill himself within the game. That's when it hit Roxas. Maybe, maybe he would prefer suicide to this life? He was one hell of a prisoner, stuck in a luxury apartment, but treated worse than the cat.

"I hate you." Roxas muttered as the cat continued his bath. The cat looked up to Roxas and then promptly returned to its cleaning. Roxas sighed before he let the controller fall out of his hands and headed to Axel's bedroom where he decided to play dress up. Instead of being clothed in underwear or even nothing as the redhead preferred, Roxas garbed himself in one of Axel's business shirts and slacks. After he selected his favourite of the dress clothes, Roxas went back to the fridge. He knew he had to enjoy food before Axel came back, where he would probably torture him for fun by starving him.

Roxas took handfuls of anything he could get his fingers on and then plopped lazily on the couch, taking the video game remote once more, and began to waste another three hours of his life. After those three hours had passed, he fell into a much needed sleep, crumbs wastefully lying on the nice dress shirt, stains around his lips from the chocolate doughnuts he had scarfed down; there was even red permanently stuck on the ridges of his mouth from the sports drink he guzzled. The TV was still spewing out profanities from the car game and the sound of a fake engine continued as Roxas began to snore, crashing heavily off the sugar rush that previously consumed him. He was so tired, he didn't hear a sound, didn't move a muscle, didn't skip a beat in his snores until the next day around the same hour that he last remembered being awake.

"Hm?" Roxas could have sword he heard a noise, but instead, he rolled over and decided that whatever it was, it must have been the damn cat. When Roxas rolled over, his face hit something, and when he opened his eyes and saw the cat, he sat up. He noticed that the TV was turned off but he didn't even have the energy to remember if he had done so at some point without realizing he had even woken up. The mess was still scattered about, so he knew he was still off the hook from Axel, but after he sighed, he figured he should perhaps change out of the expensive clothes before he left stains in them that couldn't be removed, which would no doubt bother the redhead owner.

Roxas couldn't think about anything other than the pain he knew he would endure once Axel returned, but when he opened the door and saw a lump in the bed, he froze. The lump snored audibly as the blonde gulped. He etched closer and saw Axel lying on his back with an arm messily thrown over his own face, as if to guard his eyes from light or sight. The boy panted as he watched Axel roll over, probably disturbed even in his slumber by the light that crept in from the open door. Roxas began to shiver as fear took over his body. How long had Axel been back? Why didn't he notice? And the more frightening question: What would happen to him once Axel did wake up?

Surely Axel had seen Roxas when the redhead came home to the mess and the lazy blonde brat dressed up in his expensive clothes. Roxas quickly took off the pricey jacket and even the pants and the button up shirt, standing in nothing but a pair of Axel's boxers as he tip toed to Axel's giant closet to find something casual.

Once he had on a pair of basketball shorts and a plain black T shirt, the blonde then planned to wait in the living room looking as innocent as ever, but that plan failed when he tried to avoid stepping on Neko-chan and instead tripped and face-planted on the floor.

"Whooaaa!" Roxas yelped before he landed on the carpet with a grunt.

"Mmmm!" Axel groaned before he sat up grumpily. Roxas remained on the floor, hoping Axel wouldn't see him and fall back asleep, but when Roxas twisted his neck and looked up at the bed, he saw Axel leaning over it with nothing but his face showing.

"What are you doing?" Axel asked as Roxas scrambled to his feet.

"I tripped trying not to step on your cat." Roxas whispered.

"Oh," Axel said with barely open eyes before he moved on his bed. Roxas watched as Axel prepared for what looked like a nap or another attempt at sleep before he slowly exited back to the living room.

"You know you're a real pain sometimes." Roxas glared at the cat who yawned before it slowly squinted its eyes closed and cuddled its body up to snuggle with a pillow on the couch. Roxas sighed loudly before he resumed watching TV to kill time before he was certain Axel would really wake up and let him have it for the bother of his existence.

Hours passed before Axel's door opened and when it did, a lazy Axel stumbled out in boxers and a white T shirt, walking like a zombie to his refrigerator, not taking a single second to look at Roxas who watched with wide concerned eyes. Axel opened his fridge, grabbed a sports drink, and chugged half it down before he put it back and walked back to his door, patting his thigh before he entered inside his bedroom. Roxas gulped, certain that it was a sign that he would be punished to no end. Roxas followed quietly and when he entered Axel's room, he saw the redhead back in bed with closed eyes, patting his mattress. Could this be a hoax of some sort? Yes, surely Axel will trick him, make him think he's ok, and then he'll violently rape and torture him! Roxas tried to silence his pants before he made his way to the bed, and when he slowly sat on it, Axel opened his eyes.

"What are you doing?" The redhead whispered.

"Uhhhh," Roxas wondered that exactly.

Axel said nothing until his cat jumped up on the bed and curled up on the spot of the mattress that Axel had patted.

"I, I thought you were summoning me," Roxas gulped nervously.

"I wanted Neko-chan." Axel mumbled before he pulled his cat right up to his nose and closed his eyes, just as the cat began to purr happily. Roxas stared at the cat who stared back at him before he began to back off of the bed, but Axel then patted the mattress in front of Neko-chan.

"You, you want me?" Roxas had to be sure.

"I already have my cat." Axel said into black fur as Roxas nodded that he understood. The blonde situated himself on the bed by the cat before he laid there wide awake for the entire two hours that Axel slept.

When the blonde woke next, he woke to the sound of loud laughter and deep shouts. Could he be in the process of being tortured? Perhaps he had been so badly beaten he didn't remember anything? That had to explain the mocking voices and the joking laughter. Roxas flung his chest up and panted as he looked around the empty bedroom. Neko-chan looked up from his slumber and growled at Roxas, as if to blame him for startling his sleep. Roxas shook his head before he curled back in the blankets, afraid of whatever it was that was waiting for him in the living room, where the light was bright and the voices were loud. He waited for another hour, anticipating for his tormentors to brutally drag him away to wherever it was that they would have their way with him, but they didn't. The laughter died down and when Roxas was certain that it went dead quiet, he opened the door to get a glass of water.

"Oh?" Axel turned while sitting on his couch as Roxas gulped. He thought the redhead would have followed the noise, but instead he saw Axel and Demyx sitting down playing a friendly animated fighting video game.

"He lives!" Demyx cheered sarcastically as Roxas crept forward.

"Come here." Axel patted the couch, clearly used to his cat more than human interaction, but Roxas obeyed nonetheless.

"You're cheating!" Demyx complained when Axel got the winning kill, but the redhead only smirked before he sat back to bask in his victory with an arm around Roxas.

"I told you I can beat anyone in this castle, and I just proved it with our tournament party." Axel bragged.

"Well the Superior didn't accept your challenge so you can't say that you beat 'everyone'." Demyx smirked back.

"Pft, not yet." Axel rolled his eyes.

"Axel," Saix walked into Axel's apartment as abruptly as ever.

"What?" Axel stood up and turned to greet his uninvited guest.

"Superior wants you. And that." Saix pointed to Roxas, who remained just as scared as ever.

"When?" Axel folded his arms casually.

"Now." Saix didn't say another word as he motioned Demyx over towards him. The two whispered together as Axel put pants over his boxers and when he was ready, he and Roxas followed Saix and Demyx down the elevator to the first floor.

Roxas was handcuffed behind his back and stood by Axel the entire time as the three men around him remained silent.

"This way," Saix finally broke the silence as he led the men and prisoner into a room where every member of the elite group was waiting. Roxas stayed at Axel's side until Xemnas, the leader of the group, walked up to him personally.

"Hello, Roxas." The man with silver hair and dark skin smiled.

"H-he-hi," Roxas panted in fear.

"You are no doubt the brother of Cloud Strife, right?" Xemnas asked but even Roxas knew that Xemnas already knew the answer.

"Yes," Roxas answered shakily.

"Then tell me, where is your brother?" Xemnas titled his head curiously.

"I, I don't know." Roxas shook his slowly.

"Do not be mistaken. You are not saving him. Tell us where he is, and we will kill him quickly and painlessly."

"I don't know!" Roxas answered loudly.

"Who is he working with?" Xemnas asked patiently.

"I have no idea. I don't know anything!" Roxas didn't know if that would save him or get him killed, but it was the truth.

"You mean to tell me that the brother of Cloud Strife, leader of the Soldiers, is unaware of his whereabouts and his pathetic little team?" Xemnas mocked.

"He, he said if I didn't know anything, then no one would want to hurt me." Roxas began to cry at the memory. "He said not telling me would keep me safe." Roxas bit his lip as a tear fell down his cheek.

Xemnas leaned in close and smiled. "Looks like he was wrong."

"Please you have to believe me! I don't know anything!" Roxas begged with tears as he was going on hour three of his torture, which included cigarette burns to his hands, hot wax being dripped on his bare arms, being flogged, and tight clamps on his aching nipples. That, mixed with the laughter, ridicule, and the threats all added up to his desperation. Sometime during the first half hour, Axel and Saix were called away on a mission, but when they returned towards the end of the torture session, Roxas begged for help.

"Axel!" He called, knowing that there had to be something in the redhead that would be willing to help.

"Well?" Xemnas paused all torment on Roxas to ask for updates from the two men who had just returned.

"My mission was a dead end." Axel folded his arms as if in frustration. "The house was empty."

"And yours?" Xemnas ignored Axel completely to ask Saix.

"My mission," Saix looked to Roxas and then smiled. "Was a success. Target was eliminated on the spot."

"Excellent." Xemnas turned to Roxas, who shook in utter terror. "Did you hear the news?" Xemnas asked sarcastically. "Now that Saix has just killed your brother, we've no use for you." Xemnas grinned as Roxas felt his heart flutter.

"He, he what?" Roxas felt his own voice shake in his throat before the words climbed their way out of his mouth.

"Cloud is dead." Xemnas smiled. "I'm sure we'll have the bloody broken body available for you to cry over. If you live long enough."

"No," Roxas couldn't say the word but he mouthed it all the same.

"I told him we had you captured." Saix said stoically. "I asked what we should do with you, and he said we should kill you. He said you're too weak to do anything after such an experience and you'd be better off dead."

"No!" Roxas yelled before he started to weep.

"I agree with the dead bastard." Xemnas chuckled. "Axel, eliminate your new target." Xemnas pointed to Roxas, who looked up and into Axel's shocked eyes. Axel cleared his throat and shook his head.

"Why not let him join us?" Axel suggested casually.

"Why should we?" Xemnas asked back as if he didn't understand Axel's question.

"The best killers are the ones with nothing left to lose, for they fear nothing." Axel said as dry as possible.

"As if! That thing is more afraid than a stray cat." Xigbar laughed.

"He has a point." Xemnas agreed with number two.

"To be a member one needs subordination and a fight inside him. I had the fight but no respect when I was taken in. He too is missing half the requirements." Axel folded his arms with his point.

"I taught you to obey. You cannot teach him anger, patience, and the ability to kill."

"The ability to kill isn't taught; it's found." Axel squinted his eyes in a serious demeanor.

At that, Xemnas nodded. "How will such a helpless boy find such a skill?"

"I will train him. I will make him fear nothing other than failure. He will learn to fight." Axel said.

"Look at him." Xemnas said as everyone listened and all eyes were on the poor weeping and confused boy. "He's done. He has no fight in him. He would sooner beg for death than pass training."

"Then let us find out." Axel shrugged.

Xemnas thought for a moment before he stooped down in front of Roxas. "Tell me, boy," Xemnas grabbed Roxas' chin and forced the blonde to stare him in the eye. "Would you be able to kill? Would you be able to take a life? Are you afraid to lose yours?" Xemnas asked as Roxas panted, his mind in shock of everything that happened. After a minute of silence, Xemnas chuckled. "Kill him."

"Give me one year." Axel stepped forward.

"And why do you care about him?" Saix asked suddenly, as if with anger.

"Because you thought I was worthy of the second chance. Perhaps he can be of some use as I was and am? Or would you say that saving me was a regret? Not all of us are sent on missions to kill. Someone has to plot, plan, stay behind to make sure things work out. He's very smart. That can be a great aid in organizing our missions."

"Who are you to judge his intellect?" A member with pink hair asked slyly.

"Well, the sticker on the car he was driving said he is a student at the nearby University, which is more competitive than any for hours around this place." Axel shrugged.

"What was your area of study?" Xemnas asked the blonde.

"I, I, I st-stu-studied," Roxas was shaking so badly that even though he was no longer crying, a stutter took a hold of his body.

"Out with it!" Xemnas became impatient.

"Engineering." Roxas blurted the word.

"That could be of great value," Vexen titled his head in thought.

"How so?" Saix asked.

"Well with the new way that the drugs are being transported and stored, we need machinery to help with inventory. Zexion and I began creating such a machine, however there are some kinks that we are not exactly trained for. An engineer would be very resourceful." Vexen answered.

"Hmm, I see." Xemnas thought for a moment. "You have one year Axel. If you cannot train him to be one of us, then you will personally be responsible for his execution. I will be the final judge at the end of the one year trial."

"Yes Superior." Axel bowed in respect.

"Take him away. I do not want to see him until he is ready to be one of us, or ready to die in failure." Xemnas squinted harsh eyes at Roxas before Axel grabbed the blonde's arm, which was still restrained behind his back, and dragged him back into the hall, in the elevator, and silently rode to the eighth floor.

When they entered the apartment, Axel let go of Roxas and sat down at his small four chaired table, sighing heavily before he got a beer and slumped back in a chair. Roxas stood still right where Axel had left him, too scared to move, even as Saix invited himself inside.

"What's wrong with you?" Saix asked lowly as he walked over to Axel. "What did you get yourself into?"

"I, I don't know." Axel shook his head as he stared at his beer bottle.

"A year? One year to turn this child into one of us? It cannot be done." Saix wasn't suggesting, he was informing.

"You did it with me." Axel looked up at Saix as Roxas wondered what he meant.

"It took me more than one year and you my friend, you had the anger. You had the passion, the aggression; you had the fight and the skills. Look at him. I could push him off the roof and he would do nothing more than cry to his death." Saix mocked as he stared down the silent boy.

"Saix, you believed in me." Axel stood up.

"So did the others. They didn't say it, but they did. We all did. You had what it took from the second we took you. All he has is his tears and pity." Saix stared at Roxas as if he were a lab rat.

"I believe in him. He will serve us well." Axel nodded to himself.

"What makes you say that?" Saix tilted his head as if he couldn't grasp such a concept.

"Was it that long ago when I stood where he is?" Axel asked with a smile before Saix shook his head.

"You have one year, Axel."

"So help me." Axel stepped toward the blue haired man.

Saix said nothing with his back to the redhead before he sighed. "Training starts before the sun." The man turned to face Roxas. "Be ready to fight for your life, or, be ready to lose it." Saix muttered before he left.

Axel let out a deep breath before he shook his head.

"Come on, shower, then bed." He said as Roxas listened quietly. He remained obedient and Axel soaped him and then ordered him to dry off and wait in bed. To his surprise, Axel didn't force him into submission, but instead, he warned the blonde.

"Do not bother yourself with mourning for your brother. That time will come later. You will need all the sleep you can get, cause once this training begins, it will not end until you are either a member, or dead." Axel said as he held the blonde in his arms.

"I, I don't want to be a part of you." Roxas sniffled.

"I know how you feel. You think we're the enemy. Guess since we killed your brother we are." Axel sighed. "But we're all that can save you. I know you weren't mixed into the gang like your brother. This isn't your war. Don't die for something you didn't get involved in. Do not be punished for his choices. You know you don't want to die. You know you have no reason to. This isn't your war, your cause. Fight for your life." Axel said before he closed his eyes.

"Why?" Roxas sniffled.

"Because it's all you have left." Axel scoffed.

"Why are you helping me?" Roxas asked. "What did you mean when you told Saix that you were in my place?"

Axel exhaled through his nose before he cleared his throat. "If you survive training and become a member, then I will tell you."

"And if I don't?" Roxas had to ask.

"Then you will die wondering why."

Saix wasn't lying when he said that practice would begin before the sun; he woke Roxas up at two in the morning and began by beating him. When Roxas could barely stand, he took him for exercise training, nothing short of a five kilometer run, lifting weights, and various other challenging activities. Over the next year, Roxas was allotted minimal amounts of sleep that was monitored by Saix in his apartment that was on the floor below Axel's. In fact, Roxas was not allowed to see Axel at all during training, but he overheard during the fourth week that Axel was gone on an important mission and that was the reason for his absence. Each of the first eleven months, Roxas spent time with different members under Saix's supervision and trained in various areas to be what they considered to be "organization worthy". This included a lot of physical training, learning how to shoot a hand-gun, studying marital arts, and being taught traits he didn't know could be taught. He learned how to take all of his anger and place it at one person to help him win a hand-to-hand battle with a member twice his size; he learned how to lie to himself to feel strong enough to do what was asked of him; he learned how to prove to others that he wasn't the helpless bitch he was when he first entered that castle as a prisoner. He did his very best to make Axel proud, ashamed that he actually used the redhead as inspiration. He told himself that he just wanted to hear Axel's confession, nothing more, but he couldn't explain why he missed the man at night, holding him safe and warm.

He tried to ignore the confliction inside him just as month twelve approached, and when the time for judgment came, Roxas couldn't sleep a wink. He wondered how he slept at all with his nerves during training, but the intense training made him so exhausted, he usually enjoyed all two or three hours he was allowed to spend eating or sleeping.

When he met Xemnas in the white room as ordered, he did his best to look confident. He didn't feel especially prepared or nervous, he felt indifferent, if he could even call it a feeling. He felt dead inside. He felt like he had a fight, but no purpose. He couldn't avenge his brothers death to the people he was supposed to work for, but in his defense he always begged Cloud to get out before he got too deep.

He knew he had to fight for himself, but part of him felt like he couldn't care less. The training made him stronger in that he was no longer afraid of being pushed around or being someone's toy, but he had a bitterness inside him that killed him to other emotions. He was strong. He was fearless. He was like Cloud.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yet another chapter in this story and we see that Roxas has undergone a transformation of some sort. I'm not going to lie, I really don't have time or energy to write out the entire year that Roxas experiences but you'll read more about it in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!

**Living Legacy, Sarabellum**


	6. About Me

"My my, we must have had a busy year?" Even Xemnas could see Roxas' transformation. The blonde said nothing as he eyed Xemnas back. "You have one mission. That is your test. Complete it and you will be ready to be trained as a member. Fail, and your death will promptly follow."

"What is my mission?" Roxas asked stoically.

"This." Xemnas handed Roxas a picture of a man's profile.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Roxas asked curiously.

Xemnas chuckled. "Use your imagination. The target must be eliminated by the end of the day." Xemnas said strictly.

"Eliminated?" Roxas' eyes went wide.

"You will be provided with a hand gun, a silencer, and an extra magazine." Xemnas answered.

"But, what, what did he do?" Roxas couldn't help but ask.

"That is of no concern to you. You will need to take pictures of the body to confirm the death, follow standard protocol, and bring them back to me by the end of the day." Xemnas shooed Roxas away.

"Standard protocol?" Roxas asked himself as he was escorted out of the White Room.

"Oh hey, looks like you're still alive." Roxas looked up when he heard a familiar voice.

"Axel." He said longingly. He wanted to run up to the redhead and brag about how he survived the past year. He wanted to ask a million questions about Axel's mission, and he wanted to imagine a world where he and the redhead were actually friends, catching up over a cup of coffee as if they weren't a part of such a ditry, dark business.

"What'ya got there?" The redhead took the picture from the blonde's hands and broke his trance. "Oh, this guy. This'll be cake." Axel smiled.

"What's standard protocol?" Roxas asked with no further content.

"What?" Axel was just as confused.

"Xemnas said I need to take a picture, follow standard protocol, and then bring everything back to him." Roxas shrugged.

"Means you need a veteran to assist you since you don't know what you're doing. You didn't think we'd actually let you go alone considering you're still a prisoner who can't be trusted." Axel chuckled.

"Who am I supposed to take with me? Please, anyone but Saix!" Roxas didn't want to request Axel by name, but he was hoping the redhead would volunteer.

"Usually Saix is the one to go out, or Xigbar. Really anyone besides Vexen, Zexion, or Demyx; those three can't even help themselves on a mission." Axel laughed at his own joke.

"Well, will you come with me?" Roxas gulped as he asked.

"Me?" Axel put a hand to his chest.

"Yeah, I mean, it's your fault I'm in this situation anyway." Roxas tried to look indifferent.

"My fault? I could just kill you now, do us a both a favor." Axel crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Fine, I'll just ask Saix." Roxas groaned.

"Oh forget it. He's probably busy with the Superior anyway. Come on, let me refill my girls and we can go." Axel said as Roxas nodded. The two went to Axel's penthouse and Roxas waited on the couch while Axel restocked his ammunition. "Alright, here's the gun you're supposed to use. It's loaded and the silencer is already set. There isn't a bullet the in the chamber so you'll have to charge it after you take it off the safety. DON'T!" Axel said as if he had just remembered. "Don't take it off of the safety until we get to the Po'M!"

"P oh M?" Roxas asked.

"Place of Mission." Axel clarified.

"Oh." Roxas nodded.

"Just, don't play with it. I'm guessing before training, you had no real expose to guns."

"Never shot one before this year." Roxas confessed as he tucked the gun into a holster in his pants.

"Well as long as you don't shoot me we'll be fine." Axel sighed as he shook his head. "Alright, let's go. The sooner we leave the sooner we can off the dude and return to have sex." Axel said as he threw a crisp jacket over his suit.

"Axel?" Roxas asked as he put a normal zip up jacket over his T shirt.

"M?" Axel raised an eyebrow as they got in the elevator.

"Do, do you want to have sex with me?" Roxas didn't know what drove him to ask, but Axel's reaction made him sure not to ask again.

"When you live with the same other eleven people for years you'll have sex with anything other than them that has a hole." Axel didn't even look at Roxas as he answered.

"Oh," Roxas barely uttered.

"Don't flatter yourself kid." Axel chuckled. "I could be fucking models every hour with my munny; you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, which led you right where I needed you." Axel tried to insult Roxas, but the blonde decided to take a shot with his brains.

"So you admit you need me?" Roxas tried to be smart.

"I could easier kill you than not. I don't need you. Hell, I don't need anyone." Axel smirked before he finally made eye contact with the boy beside him. "But we always want what we don't need, don't we? In this case, mine is a fuck buddy."

The elevator doors opened just in time.

"You really are that proud to be heartless?" Roxas scoffed.

At that, Axel laughed back. "You expect the most notorious gang in the country to be any different. You're real naïve kid but you know what," Axel grabbed Roxas' shoulder just before they left the giant mansion for Roxas' first time. "It makes me want to fuck your brains that much harder." Axel smirked before Roxas jerked his body free.

"Once I become a member, you won't be able to manipulate me as such." Roxas gulped.

"If you become a member kid. If." Axel said before he drove outside the locked gate and off the property. The drive started off silent but then Axel cleared his throat. "Ok, let's start with the rules."

Roxas said nothing as Axel continued.

"Don't take your gun off of safe until you are ready. Don't aim it at me or I will kill you on the spot. If you want to run and release yourself into the wild, by all means, do it." Axel smiled. "You'll be dead before you can convince yourself you're safe. No leaving my side unless I specifically tell you to. If anything should happen to one of us, or if we are compromised, we are to meet back at the castle immediately. If you do not show in two days and are known NOT to being taken captive, then an order for your elimination will be posted immediately."

"You mean, taken captive excluding this organization, right?" Roxas glared at Axel.

"You can keep cracking your jokes, but one day when I stop laughing and it's not funny, I'll lose the motivation to keep you alive." Axel parked the car as Roxas gulped. Before the redhead opened the door he took a deep breath. "I vouched for you. I wouldn't be sitting in this car right now if I think you're going to fail this mission. Don't make me regret my decisions, or you will regret yours." Axel warned before he got out of the car and the blonde followed.

The two walked silently side by side for a while before Axel took Roxas' arm without warning and dragged him down a dark alleyway. Roxas wanted to ask questions, he wanted to break free and bolt for home, but he knew better. He knew he couldn't talk or else he could risk blowing his cover. He knew better than to run or else he really would be killed. He knew better than to piss off someone as dangerous as Axel.

The redhead guided him by the hand for about fifteen minutes before he bent down behind a large dumpster and instructed Roxas to do the same.

"In twenty minutes your target will exit that building. I will lure him in this direction. You are to shoot when you know you have the shot. Shoot me, and I swear kid you will not live long enough to fully regret it." Axel threatened.

"What do I do after I shoot him?" Roxas asked, butterflies finally working their way into his stomach.

"Use this to take a snapshot of the body. One of the face, one where the bullets went in, and one full body picture. Afterwards, wait here until I get you. It shouldn't take me more than five minutes. If you suspect that you are not alone after you get the pictures, go to the car and wait there. Do not make any detours. Do not do anything stupid." Axel warned as he gave Roxas a camera with no stored memory.

"What if someone sees me kill him?" Roxas asked nervously.

"If you think someone is watching, don't shoot. If you think they are walking by after you made the shot, act as if you just found the body and call the police. Be sure to look like you aren't afraid of getting caught, as if you were innocent. I'll come save you soon after."

"Why would you bother to save me a second time if you hate me so much?" Roxas asked as Axel chuckled. The redhead said nothing but he put a hand on the back of Roxas' neck and kissed his lips.

"Good luck. Be careful, ok?" Axel asked cautiously before he winked.

"Axel," Roxas gulped.

"Hm?"

"What if I can't shoot him? Like, what if I, freeze?" Roxas could feel his heartbeat increase dramatically with the fear of taking his first life.

"You'll be fine. You did it in training."

"It was a dummy." Roxas whispered harshly.

"Then aim and pretend it's a dummy. Just don't close your eyes, ok?" Axel asked slowly.

"Ok." Roxas nodded, still clearly just as scared.

"Relax. The more you panic the harder it'll be. You've had a watergun before right? Just think of it like that. You're just playing lazertag." Axel shrugged. "Just a little game. No loud bangs, no big fuss, ok?" Axel comforted the blonde in a way Roxas didn't expect. The redhead put his arms around Roxas gently as Roxas gulped.

"I'm scared." He confessed.

"I was too, my first time." Axel said, much to Roxas' surprise.

"Really?" Roxas didn't know why he was so shocked, but he was.

"Yeah." Axel smiled. "After a while, it gets less scary. And then the really scary part, is when you've done is so many times, it doesn't feel like anything at all." Axel frowned as he whispered.

Roxas couldn't help but nudge his head against Axel's chest for relief.

"I don't want that to be me." He admitted shyly.

"It won't." Axel fixed Roxas' bangs.

"How do you know?" Roxas asked innocently.

"Well, Saix, Xigbar, Xaldin, Luxord, Lexaues and I are the main assassins. We have enough members who are trained to do this type of work. We could use more like Vexen and Zexion, the smart type." Axel smiled as he ruffled Roxas' hair. Naturally, the blonde giggled, causing Axel to chuckle along. "Or maybe you can work with Demyx and me; the cute ones." Axel kissed Roxas' temple.

"You think I'm cute?" Roxas asked with a faint smile.

"I know you are." Axel smiled back confidently. "And you're going to do great in this mission. You just need to relax these muscles." Axel massaged Roxas' arms soothingly.

"Mmmm," Roxas sighed happily.

"Yeah, that's a good boy." Axel whispered into Roxas' ear. "Just relax, aim, take a deep breath, pull the trigger nice and easy. Just a light squeeze." Axel said before he squeezed the boy in his arms, who smiled. "Then we can go back and celebrate, ok?" Axel asked before Roxas nodded.

"Ok." The boy smiled tamely. This is the Axel he missed; not the mean, cruel, smart-ass. He missed the warm, caring redhead who felt like nothing a cold blooded murderer.

"Good boy. I'm going to go get in position. You stay here until you're sure you can take the shot safely, ok?"

"He, he won't have a gun, right?" Roxas quickly asked as Axel pulled himself away.

"You'll be fine. He's completely unaware and is no big threat. He'll be surprised, most likely unarmed, and if you're quick enough he'll go down without even realizing you're there." Axel said for encouragement.

"Kay." Roxas gulped.

"Go get 'em tiger." Axel kissed Roxas' cheek before he slipped away. The blonde was alone for about ten minutes, trying to calm his nerves, before footsteps came down the dark alleyway. Roxas took a deep breathe, peeked around the dumpster, and confirmed that his target was approaching him.

He knew he had to do what he had to do, but he also knew that he didn't want to do it. After another deep breath, Roxas took his gun out of the holster as quietly as he could, took it off the safety, and then jumped to his feet in front of his target.

The man who he had never before seen paused, eyes wide and his chest panting in fear. The two made eye contact before Roxas charged his handgun, his hands shaking lightly as he cleared his throat. The man blinked rapidly before he slowly reached towards his side.

"Don't do it!" Roxas warned as he gulped and shook the gun to prove his point. The man swallowed heavily as he continued to slowly move his hand. "I said don't!" Roxas warned but he wondered why his fingers wouldn't pull the damn trigger already. He knew he wanted to, he knew he needed to, but for some reason his brain and his body weren't mixing.

The man looked at Roxas, smirked, and then once again reached for his side. Roxas saw the man reach for a gun before he gulped and before he knew it, he closed his eyes. He knew he was accepting defeat, accepting death, but he was wishing on his lucky stars that the target's gun would be broken, unloaded, or any other situation that would save his life.

The man chuckled, Roxas heard that distinctly, before he heard a shot. It was quiet, nearly nonexistent before Roxas peeked an eye open. He saw the gun that the man was holding, he heard the shot, but his fingers felt so numb. Could it actually be possible to fire a gun and not know? The man was bleeding, he was panting, and then when Roxas couldn't be more surprised, the body dropped to the floor.

Roxas watched with bug-eyed shock as the man fell flat on his face, dead. Roxas looked to his gun, not sure how he managed to fire without feeling it, but glad he was alive. He was about to smile, when we heard more footsteps. When he looked up, he saw Axel, returning one of his hand guns to his holster on his side.

Roxas began to panic. Oh no. He failed. He failed his mission. He didn't shoot the gun after all which meant that he really is helpless which means that he'll be killed.

"Oh shit," Roxas dropped the gun from his hands, the sound of the metal clanking against the asphalt.

"Hey," Axel stepped over the body and grabbed Roxas, who was about ready to faint. "You ok?" Axel asked as he shook Roxas' body.

"I, I," Roxas panted.

"Come on, let's continue with standard protocol." Axel said as Roxas tried to calm down.

"St-sta-standard?" Roxas sniffled.

"We have to confirm the kill, get the pictures, dump the body, and then get back to the castle. Come on." Axel whispered. He took the gun that Roxas dropped, fired three shots at the body in the chest, and then took pictures with the camera. He used gloves and tweezers to remove the bullets from the body and then lifted it into the dumpster that he and Roxas hid behind earlier.

The entire time, Roxas watched as he tried to think about what he would do next. Should he try to run? He knew Xemnas was going to kill him anyway. At least if he ran he'd have a chance, right?

"Let's go." Axel took Roxas' arm after he disposed of the gloves, and then ushered Roxas through the alleyway and back to the car. Roxas followed blindly, his mind numb as he tried to grasp the concept of what his life now had in store.

"You ok?" Axel asked once he started the car.

"I," Roxas gulped. His face went pale as Axel sped through traffic and then pulled off at the side of the road by the cliffs and ocean breeze.

"Shh, just take a deep breath." Axel instructed as the wind calmed the blonde boy.

"I don't want to die." Roxas felt tears slowly work their way up his throat.

"You're going to be fine." Axel said soothingly.

"I didn't kill him. You did." Roxas sniffled. "If you hadn't, I'd be dead already." Roxas' lower lip trembled.

"It's always scary the first time."

"I failed!" Roxas put his face in his hands.

"You want to know something?" Axel said calmly as he rubbed Roxas' back, so the blonde paused his sobs to nod.

"I failed my first mission too." Axel smiled soothingly.

"You, you did?" Roxas sniffled.

"Yeah. I don't know I, I thought that, well, I thought that I had it under control, but I choked up and Saix saved my life." Axel said with a look of concentration.

"Axel, you said if I survived training, you'd tell me what you meant when you told Saix that you were in my place. Well, I failed the mission, but I survived thus far. Will you at least tell me before you have to kill me?" Roxas asked with leaking eyes.

Axel was quiet for a moment before he nodded.

"Let's go back to the castle. I'll tell you after dinner." He said before Roxas shook his head.

"Please, I don't want to die there. I'd rather you push me off this cliff. Please?" Roxas begged.

"Rox, why do you think I shot the body three times with your gun and threw out an extra bullet?" Axel asked.

"I don't know." Roxas shrugged. Hell, all he could think about was how he was going to die, and here Axel is asking him stupid questions!

"To tell Xemnas you killed the target. He wasn't there. Just you, me, and a corpse. If we tell Xemnas you shot the body, then that is what happened." Axel held Roxas' fingertips.

"But, but what if he knows I'm lying?" Roxas panicked.

"I'll cover. You just say what I tell you to, ok?"

"What if he assigns me to more missions? I can't expect you to always be my partner and I don't know if I'll ever be able to fire a gun at someone." Roxas shook his head.

"Like I said before, we have plenty of men to do the dirty work. We'll convince him that this isn't the best job for you and find you something else to do, ok?" Axel put an arm around Roxas' body.

"Why are you helping me?" Roxas asked for the hundredth time.

"Stop asking such foolish questions." Axel sighed. "We've been through this. I'm bored. You're entertaining at the least. Accept my offer so that you can keep your life and so that mine doesn't end in boredom." Axel let go of Roxas before he went back inside the car. Roxas rubbed his arm across his face before he too got back inside the car and remained silent as Axel drove them back to the castle.

Roxas never would have guessed that Xemnas would actually believe that he completed the mission, but then again, Xemnas had no reason to doubt Axel, one of his finest.

"How many bullets did you fire?" Xemnas asked, and with Axel standing to the Superiors side with four fingers running through his hair, Roxas noticed and then coughed.

"Four."

"Hand me your gun." Xemnas held out his hand, so Roxas obeyed and after Xemnas counted the bullets still present, he nodded. "Where did you fire?" Xemnas asked as Axel cautiously scratched his chest just around the heart.

"By his heart." Roxas bit his lip.

"Alright, I'll confirm with Axel and then we will decide what's to be done with you." Xemnas stared Roxas down as he waited patiently. Xemnas and Axel walked out of the room and left Roxas alone for so long, he had wondered if they had forgotten him. After the second hour of sitting on the floor right where he had been abandoned, Roxas heard the door open.

"Come." Saix stepped through as Roxas swallowed anxiously.

"Where's," Roxas wanted to ask of Axel's whereabouts, but Saix wouldn't let him.

"You have feelings for him?" Saix raised an eyebrow as they walked side by side.

"For who?" Roxas wasn't sure if he was playing stupid or if he sincerely didn't know.

"Heh," Saix chuckled. "For my Axel."

At that, Roxas stopped walking. "YOUR Axel?" he asked loudly.

"Didn't you know?" Saix turned to face the thinking blonde.

"But, he, I, we," Roxas thought back to all the kissing, making out, hell even all the cuddling and flirting and talk of sex to come.

"We?" Saix scoffed. "You're pathetic. You have no one, not even in captivity. Axel is mine, so be sure to memorize it." Saix continued walking as Roxas' mind raced. Why? Why did he care? Why was he so disappointed? He tried to convince himself that he was merely confused, but there had to be more to it than that.

Saix peered down beside him through his peripheral vision to see Roxas frowning, his eyes blinking as if in deep thought.

"What?" Saix couldn't help but wonder why Roxas was so stuck on thoughts of Axel.

"Well, I just, I didn't know you guys were dating." Roxas said, hating how heart broken he sounded.

"Dating is a funny word, one best used for those on the outside. We're simply, together." Saix cleared his throat.

"Is it serious?" Roxas asked without control.

"Why? It's no concern of yours." Saix was quick to point out as they continued down another hallway.

"Well, he and I have,"

"Have what?" Saix stopped with a hand on Roxas' chest.

"Uh," Roxas regretted opening his big mouth.

"Has he slept with you?" Saix asked, his yellow eyes unmoving as they narrowed in on Roxas' frightened sapphires.

"Um," Roxas was afraid to tattle on Axel for his idea of rewarding him with sex, but he couldn't lie with Saix so close to his face.

"Come on," Saix groaned in utter frustration. "The sooner we execute you the better." He pulled on Roxas' arm as the blonde boy froze.

"Execute?!" He dragged his clumsy fear stricken feet.

"We discussed it and we have no need or use for you."

"But I passed my mission!" Roxas reminded the blue haired man.

"So? You think that killing a man is worthy of praise? We've all done it countless times." Saix rolled his stoic eyes.

"When? When am I to be killed?" Roxas began to panic, hoping he'd have enough nights to sleep with Axel to convince the redhead to save him.

"Where do you think we're going?" Saix grinned. At such news, Roxas tried to run in the opposite direction, but Saix lifted the blonde off his feet in a tight hold.

"Axel! Help me! AXEL!" Roxas shouted as he kicked. Sadly, he and Saix were already at their destination, and when Saix managed to open the door while keeping Roxas as still as possible with one hand, he threw the blonde inside the room.

Roxas landed with a loud grunt on his side before he rolled onto his stomach, holding his aching head. The lights were too bright, the floor was cold, and he saw several pairs of shoes around him. He gulped before he looked up to see most of the Organization members.

"Do you know why you're here?" Xemnas asked as he ordered Roxas to stand with just a motion of his finger.

"To, to be, eli-eliminated?" Roxas tried to look around for Axel, but he was too scared to even blink properly.

"Yes. Do you know why?" Xemnas seemed to be getting off at the idea of causing Roxas' weary mind more trauma.

"No need for me." Roxas gulped as he closed his eyes.

Xemnas didn't even respond to Roxas' answer as he chuckled.

"Are you frightened?" he asked as Roxas began to pant heavily, the reality of the situation hitting him hard. "Yes? It's ok, be honest." Xemnas was clearly mocking him as Roxas began to weep quietly.

"Yes."

"Yes what?" Xemnas seemed to have one last bit of torture waiting for Roxas: prolonging his last moments alive.

"Yes, I'm scared." Roxas sniffled.

"Do you want to know the manner in which you will die?" Xemnas asked Roxas, who shivered. As a kid, he and his friends used to ask each other such questions: Would you want to know when you die? Would you want to know how? They all were questions no one likes to answer honestly, because Roxas then realized one wouldn't know until in such a position.

"No." he gulped down more tears.

"No?" Xemnas was clearly enjoying the state of Roxas' suffering. "You don't want to know about how we are going to shove a fire cracker up inside you, and just when it reaches your belly button from your ass," Xemnas put a finger on Roxas' trembling belly button. "We're going to light it." He whispered ever so gently as Roxas began to hyperventilate with the desire to puke. His mouth and throat were gagging on his fear but nothing came up other than shuddered breath's.

"N-no," Roxas shook his head as he barely spoke, his voice stolen from him in a fear unlike any he had ever experienced. "P-pl-please?" Roxas wanted to clasp his hands together, but he couldn't feel them. He felt nothing other than fear from the tips of his toes to his sweating brows.

"Please what?"

"Don't," Roxas closed his eyes before he began to sob. "Don't blow me up!" He begged as Xemnas and other members chuckled.

"It will be such a splendid show." Xemnas smiled as Roxas shook his head. "Perhaps a bit messy." He laughed as Roxas began to weep on his knees, holding his body, afraid to lose it.

"Get him ready." Xemnas ordered his men, and members Roxas barely even knew stripped him and tied his hands above his head with his feet spread out and restrained.

"He's tied down." Xigbar reported as Roxas shook violently.

"Axel, go ahead." Xemnas said as Axel stepped into view, which caused Roxas to panic with hope.

"Axel!" He called desperately. "Axel please, PLEASE!" he begged. "Help me. Shoot me! Don't let me die this way Axel, Axel, Axel!" Roxas wept as Axel took a long red firecracker and started to push. "NYAH!" Roxas cried out in pain. He huffed as his entrance stretched wide to fit the large explosive. He felt the hard device settle against his tummy as Axel wriggled it in place. The firework was placed all the way inside with nothing but the wire to ignite showing outside of Roxas' body. The blonde took deep careful breath's. not used to such an intrusion and hating the feel of it more than he could process.

"It's in." The redhead turned as he remained kneeling to inform his Superior.

"Please," Roxas' voice was nearly silent as he pleaded one last time.

Axel made eye contact with Roxas, a solemn look on the redheads face as he swallowed down all emotion.

"Light it." Xemnas ordered as Axel gulped and slowly nodded.

Axel took a deep breath before he pulled out a zippo lighter and flickered a small flame into existence.

"Axel no," Roxas shook his head. Could this really be happening?

"Be quick about it. Make sure to stand back to avoid getting any of the damage and blood on you." Xemnas said as he and the other members stood at a great distance, for their own safety.

"Axel no please, I beg you please!" The blonde cried as he barely spoke.

"Shh," Axel whispered. "It's going to be ok," He looked into Roxas' eyes before he moved the lighter to the beginning of the firecracker's tail.

"No! No! NO!" Roxas screamed as he tried to wriggle, tried to blow out the fire from his still shouting mouth. "Put it out!" Roxas begged one last time, and when he looked down to see how much time he had left, he saw Axel stepping back, watching anxiously, but much closer to the prisoner than all of the other members who wouldn't dare risk getting injured from the explosive by standing as close as Axel did.

"It's ok." Axel mouthed and when Roxas looked down, he saw the flame at the border of his entrance, and just as the blonde held his breath, anticipating his incredibly painful death, the fire went out. Roxas quickly looked up to Axel, who, with his back to the rest of the organization, gave a small tame smirk. Roxas looked back down to confirm that the fire was really gone and that he wasn't going to blow up after all, and when he realized that he was still alive, he passed out unconscious.

* * *

"What a lazy bum. He can't even die conveniently." That was Saix's voice that broke into Roxas' hazy ears.

"Still, think about the odds. You've killed countless times Axe, so how'd you fail with the world's easiest target?" Another member, one with a British accent, asked.

"It does seem very unlikely for it to be coincidence." Zexion mused.

"Indeed." Saix spoke up again.

"It's like I told the Superior," Axel began defensively, "I probably pushed the thing in too far, out of habit," He chuckled before Demyx giggled, "And fire can't travel inside of him, so naturally it went out."

"Still, it's a bit strange." Zexion thought.

"Why, you want fire to act unlike fire? Would that be less strange? Believe me, I know arsine better than anyone in this castle."

"So how did you make such a rookie mistake?" Luxord and his British accent wondered.

"Like I said a million times already, I shoved the explosive too far inside. I'm so used to seeing his little hole and just trying to break it." Axel shrugged.

"Not all of us are amused." Saix stood up. "Or convinced." He took the steps necessary to get to the elevator to leave Axel's flat and go down to his own. "By the way," He paused after he called the elevator. "Do not be mistaken in thinking that you have saved him from his death. You have merely delayed it, and Xemnas and I will ensure that you will not interfere with his new form of execution, which will be slow and enjoyable to witness." Saix smiled before the elevator came and he escaped down to his own floor.

"Sheesh, what's eating him?" Demyx shivered.

"Probably the superior." Axel joked.

"You aren't at all scared?" Zexion asked.

"About what?" Axel asked back.

"They're going to kill him, and you can't stop them." Zexion said.

"You know," Axel chuckled as Roxas groaned, waking up with an awful headache. "That's what they told Saix, about me."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ah ok so we're finally getting to the good part. Sorry it's been a while but I've got way too much going on so I'm going to stop the author note here and move onto another story!

Thanks for reading


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